1000 Yards of Pale Pink Plastic

September 19th, 2006 | View Comments

My grandmother discovered I was a knitter at our family reunion two summers ago. She got all excited, exactly as you would expect a grandmother to do. She promised me she would send me her stash. I got all excited, exactly as you would expect a knitter to do.

And sure enough, a package arrived in the mail shortly after. It did not contain fifty balls of talking, homosexual sock yarn. Or a cigarette-smoking sheep. What arrived was silent, but not in a good way. It was in the delivering-a-menacing-death-glare, very very bad way.

It looks innocent, but it’s not.

Scary pink grandma stash

The yarn is probably as old as I am, with yellowed ball bands in Japanese. A quick swatching and attempted blocking confirmed that it was the squeaky, sticky kind of acrylic that doesn’t even pretend to absorb water.

I came to regard it as a strange cousin that had come to stay.

Maybe I could knit it into a large, pink elephant.

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CogKnition posted this on September 19th, 2006 @ 9:17pm in Yarn | Permalink to "1000 Yards of Pale Pink Plastic"


  1. Or, you could be the first person to knit an actually-effective knitted raincoat…

  2. lobstah says:

    Hee hee…the dreaded grandma stash! My grandmother almost exclusively knits with acrylic and I am hoping she doesn’t try to give me any. It’s a sweet gesture and all, but…

  3. Charity says:

    Sigh – you go through the thrill of anticipating the stash, just to see an acrylic mass at the end of it :0(